I am a child.
The one who was supposed to play hide n seek but could never play without worrying my mother sick and making her almost paranoid for my safety.
I am a teenager.
The one Who wanted to wear camisoles but never could because i didnt know how to avoid the lecherous gaze of men who made me uncomfortable with my own growing and changing body.
I am a young woman.
The one who wanted to go clubbing and pubbing and enjoy and partywith my new found monetary independence but never could because nights are not safe for women to venture out.
I am a bride
The one who wanted to be a little more than a Mrs, the one who wanted to work, pursue her career but couldn’t because a woman going out to work is against your family values.
I am a house wife
The one who wanted her name to be outside the house, right next to yours on that name plate because this is where i would be living for the rest of my life but never saw my name there ir anywhere else because for you, apparently its the men who are the true representatives of a house. Of your house.
I am a female
The one who wanted to wear shorts and pajamas at home, the one who wanted to wear jeans and dresses but never could because its against your family’s tradition and culture.
I am a mother
The one who wanted to give my daughter the chance to be a hell of an independent woman, the chance that i never got but could never give to her too because she bears your surname, your family name and even after carrying her within me, even after giving birth to her, even after spending hundreds of nights being awake with her, she doesnt have my surname and so, dhas to carry forward your family’s traditions.
I am a woman
The one who wanted to just talk about periods , the one who just wanted to step out in peace and buy the pads and tampons and menstrual cups and decide which ones to choose from but never could because periods are made to be something to be ashamed of and even going out alone and unaccompanied is against your idea of freedom.
I am a lady
The one who wanted desperately to be understood during the time i was undergoing menopause but never could be understood because a woman’s fluctuating hormones are not something to be addressed or cared for especially by the husband.
I am a middle aged mother
The one who after raising my children wanted to find myself, wanted to do something different, wanted to be what i felt i was meant to be, wanted to step out of the house, make friends, have my own social circle but never could because now, my son thinks woman of the house should behave in a certain manner and my stepping out seems to disrupt his peace of mind and the peace of the house.
I am a grandmother
The one who wanted to be seen other than being the wife of, the mother of, the grandmother of… but never could because building my individuality and identity was never even considered a thing and every step that i took towards it was met with displeasure and discouragement, making it something to be guilty of.
I am a spirit.
Finally i am not your daughter, i am not your wife, i am not your bahu, i am not your mother, i am not your grandmother, i am not your sabhyata, i am not your sanskriti, i am not your izzat, not your
Finally, i am me.
bohemian 