Us and They- the story of our country

 

While some of us celebrate International Women’s Day and others sulk grieving about the beef ban in Maharashtra, some furiously discuss “India’s Daughter” as few are busy following the cricket World Cup, a fellow human has been lynched by a crowd of thousands. He was dragged out of jail, beaten to death and hung in full public view. What the man saw when he breathed his last was a crowd mocking his inevitable death, clicking selfies, cheering and jeering the violence that soon was to be the reason of his death.

The man in question was an alleged rapist. The first news that flowed claimed the man, Khan, was a Bangladeshi immigrant and had raped an adivasi girl. The man held in the police custody was taken out from there by a mob of thousands, beaten and then hung. 

Most people cursed our system, thought it’s the divine interference that brought justice, and moved on. The next morning a clear picture of what had happened started forming. News bits, facts, pictures and articles started flowing in. This stage of any incident for people like me is the most crucial one because this is the time when random information starts floating and it becomes very easy to connect the dots. 

As the news channels and online forums started following up the incident, the horror of what had happened dawned. At first, I refused to believe what I read and promptly went into a denial but that sweet bliss couldn’t have been forever. 

When such an incident occurs, there are few things that need to be kept in view. Like

1. The accused is not guilty unless proven.

2. We are not living in a country that believes in barbarianism. 

3.We have a judicial system that no one can override. 

Or at least, these are the things we would like to believe.

 But, what happened was the exact opposite. 

A huge crowd gathered and a protest rally was organized at the clock tower of the district, which was supposed to be “peaceful”. What happened next has two versions. 1. The mob marched up to the Dimapur police station. There the police tried to stop them with batons and tear gas but failed to do so since they were clearly outnumbered. In the process, some inmates who were jailed also fled. The crowd then got hold of Khan, dragged him outside, stripped him naked, started beating him and dragged him (he was dead by them) tied behind a vehicle to the point assigned and hung his naked body there. 2. The other version is, the jail authorities let the protesters inspect the cells so that they could then identify the accused who had been shifted there from the police station. In the chaos, three other inmates, who have been charged under sections of the National Security Act also fled. Here, the point to notice is, the protesters were allowed by the authority. (http://m.firstpost.com/politics/mob-fury-in-nagaland-rape-accused-stoned-to-death-1-killed-in-police-firing-2139117.html)

 

What splashed the newspapers and news channels were the images of a man being beaten, being stripped, being stoned, being dragged and then being hung in full public view. What questions the conscience of the nation is , a crowd of thousands of men finding pleasure in inflicting pain, finding it amusing, making videos, clicking pictures, dragging a dead man tied behind a vehicle and then hanging his body. How can the crowd be called a gathering of humans? Who targets a man, clearly defenseless and attacks him and kills him and finds pleasure in doing so? Even if he was a rapist, even if he was an immigrant, how is this justifiable? How is this justice? 

At this point, it is necessary that we know more about the man. His name was Syed Farid Khan. He was an Indian. As Indian as me or my friends or my parents or my teachers in school or our PM. He belonged to Bosla village in Karimganj district. The village is in southern Assam, located 350 km from Guwahati. In the words of  Sanjib Gohain Baruah, the deputy commissioner of Karimganj, “The Khans have been there for generations, like many Bengali-speaking Muslims in Barak Valley (of south Assam).” Also,His father has served for 20 years in the Indian army’s Military Engineering Services and his two elder brothers–Kamaluddin and Jamaluddin are soldiers in the army. Another brother, Imanuddin, died of wounds sustained while fighting in the Kargil War of 1999 (http://m.hindustantimes.com/india-news/family-says-lynched-dimapur-businessman-was-framed-point-to-their-army-ties/article1-1323816.aspx)

Does this man qualify as an Indian now? Has he proved his identity? Can we now look objectively at a murder that was committed because apparently we have no empathy for people who are not like “us”. Can we now lift the veil from our eyes and say this was probably a planned hate crime? Is it wrong to now say or think that he was targeted because he belongs to the minority? Since when did we become a country of barbarians? How can we criticize ISIS when this happened in our country, in full view of the people responsible for maintaining law and decorum? 

A man was killed. Forget the Indian part, ignore the minority aspect. Let’s concentrate on a man being killed by a crowd for a rape charge that is still not conclusive in spite of the medical examination (http://ibnlive.in.com/news/dimapur-mob-lynching-case-situation-remains-tense-in-assam-nagaland-no-arrests-so-far/532522-3-226.html ). He was killed by thousands. Thousands of our dear fellow Indians participated in a killing with a smile, armed with a telephone to record it all so that no action is lost, cheering away at his pain and agony, finding pleasure as a man breathed his last. Would the crowd be punished? Would our tech savvy  government react? Would the authorities apologize? Would the family of the man brutally killed ever trust the authorities? Ever trust our country? 

What have we become? 

 

Beyond the sexes

The significance of 8^th MaRch Is something we all are aware of (I can almosT see the hint of a pompous grIn on some of the faces). But are we in the same way aware and interested about the significance of the date 19^th November? Well, that’s International Men’s Day. (just FYI)

Being a female is beautiful and gorgeous. But, so is being a woodpecker or a peacock. We cannot act all high and pricey for being a specific gender of a particular specie. It’s time we moved on. Its time we celebrate not for being a female but for being a unique individual. For being us. Whatever we are, however we are, the thing that separates us from the rest of the world is the acute awareness of being, of existing.

Let’s drop the charade of being the “fairer sex”, of being the superior one or being the more compassionate one. Let’s begin to celebrate not for the gender but for the individuality. The titles that the world tends to give us inadvertently makes us, shapes us and moulds us. We are not special, we are not “the better ones”, we are not the “sophisticated” ones nor the “delicate” ones. A lot of us like to rough up the things, like to be reckless, like to live life like a long letting-your-hair-down weekend. Some of us like to live on an edge. By placing ourselves on the societal pedestal, we are invariably shaping ourselves according to the roles that we are expected to play.

We have fought hard to reach where we stand today and we fought for a reason. That is exactly why we should time and again remind ourselves that we are not better or worse in terms of men.We are in fact, equals. That is what feminism is all about, that is what we fought for and that is what we should always remember.

So, cheers to me, cheers to us, cheers to them and cheers to the world. We are an important part of the world and the world is an important part of us. We do not need any exemptions or any special treatments. We are able and we have the courage to make our own way, find our smile and make our own journey- the one we call life.We will love, we will hate, we will dance and we will sing because till the time we are and till the time we will be, till the time our mind is free; we will live. And being one of a kind is reason enough to celebrate each day of our life.

India’s Shame

We live in a bubble. We read news of rapes, molestation and violence against women and mentally think them to be happening in a parallel universe. Not in ours. We live in a bubble until life happens.

Since the past couple of days I had been coming across the heated debates on the news channels to ban the documentary made on Jyoti, a rape victim also widely known as the Nirbhaya case. People blamed the BBC of being biased, trying to malign our country, trying to glorify rape and trying to glorify the rapists. My first reaction was instinctual and I was convinced that the British were again trying to harm our country and its image.

A hint of anger erupted until the sane side of me urged to at least first see the documentary before going on a blaming spree. So, I turned to the magic of internet and downloaded the documentary from YouTube. I could have just watched it but I was not sure if the government would suddenly decide to take it down and ban it (Like the AIB roast, I repent not downloading it, the cut version I mean because all the jokes on Modi did not even make it to the “controversial” version that was uploaded).

Goosebumps, tears, anger, frustration and immense sadness are the few things I experienced while watching the 59 min long documentary titled “India’s Daughter”. Unlike what most of the news channels are trying to portray, the documentary is not about the rapists, it does not glorify them, it does not give India a bad name and it is definitely not an attempt to malign our country (we do not need foreign powers to do that. We are quite there, if you know what I mean). The documentary simply showed some facts and some hard hitting, bitter truths. We can’t always paint the world rosy because the world is not rosy. Especially ours

The documentary starts with a message “A Delhi court has blocked the showing of the film in India” (democracy eh?). Also giving information like “a woman is raped in India every 20 minutes”. This is what I would call, stating facts. The 59 min long film carefully documents the case, showing interviews of Jyoti’s parents, the pain and agony they went through, her tutor, her doctors who recalled Jyoti giving all the information she could in spite of being in immense pain so that the culprits are punished, the police, the people who fought to amend the laws, it’s process and the outcome, the man who helped Jyoti and her friend while they lay on the road and the horror he felt when he first saw her lying there in a pool of blood with her insides spilled out and the rapists, the family members of the 6 rapists and the defense lawyers who in my opinion stole the show by shamelessly and unabashedly showing their sub-human mentality.

The statements “women are like flowers who need protection and men are like thorns” and “in our society we never allow girls to come out in the evening with unknown person” and “if my daughter goes out with someone not her husband and has male friends and spoils her character, I would personally burn her in front of my whole family in my farm house” are not coming from the rapists. They are in fact coming from the “well educated” defense lawyers. In a court of law, they are not criminals and cannot be punished but in the social context, they are the exact living proof of what is wrong with our society.

The documentary does not malign our country. It does what it was supposed to do. It shows the harsh reality, the ugly truth and a case that shook the nation. It shows India needs to change, the people need to change, the systems need to be efficient, the mentality has to change. This documentary does nothing but act like a mirror and by boycotting it and banning it we Indians are doing nothing but giving a loud and clear message that we don’t like what we have become.

10 Things Fauji Wives are sick of Hearing

1. Aapke pati fauj mei hain.. Dar nahi lagta?

(Thanks for reminding especially when he is posted in the field and there is no telephone connectivity and he can call only once in 3days)

2. Aise akele akele kaise reh lete ho?

(I don’t suppose we are conjoined. Ever heard of the term duty? The one he is on?)

3. Achha field posting hai.. baby plan kar lo phir

(Am I a baby making machine that works only in the absence of my husband?)

4. Peace mei hai and aapne unko join nahi kiya??

(Are we some lego pieces that have to be joined to make sense?)

5. Miss karte ho?

(Are you crazy? Why would I miss my husband, someone I love? U must be kidding, right?)

6. B.Ed kar lo.. Har station mei settle ho jaoge

(Oh yeah Einstein, anything else?)

7. Aapke husband to bade strict honge na?

(Oh yes, how did you guess? He takes me for PT every morning at 5. Aapko nahi pata?)

8. Ajeeb nahi lagta aapke ghar mei pehele koi aur reh raha tha?

(do u feel uncomfortable thinking dinosaurs most probably pooped where you are standing right now?)

9. Sab free hota hai na?

(Ohh yes.. we save 70k a month.. great na ?)

10. Aapke to kharche hote hi nahi honge

(Exactly.. now if the conversation is over, I have a private jet waiting for me. Ciao!)RDD

I Need Feminism Because

I need feminism because when such things get shared on the internet, they make me cringe.

I need feminism because feminism means equality and men sometimes need it too.

so, to all the women here is what I have to say:

• Changing your surname is an option not a law/rule. If you decide to change it, it’s a choice you are making.
• You change your home. Like you changed your home when you moved out to work and changed it when you went out to study just like the man. He has changed his home too.
• He moves in with you too.
• He too builds a home with you
• You don’t get pregnant for him. You get pregnant because motherhood is one of the most beautiful experience and you want to experience it. If you get pregnant because he wanted and you didn’t want, that is abuse which needs to be reported but not something to give you a feel of martyrdom.
• You get fat because body changes during pregnancy. It’s nothing to be sad or happy about. You knew about it all when you dreamed of becoming a mother.Its also biology. Expecting him to deliver and go through the pain is as senseless as being angry about not being able to time travel.
• The pain is excruciating and in no way is the man “responsible” for it.
• The kids you deliver bear the name you CHOOSE to give them. You can give them your name too.
• It seems had it not been for men, women would not cook, clean, take care of the parents, bring up the children, earn, advice, maintain a healthy family. And if you would do that nonetheless, there is no need to make a list of the things you would do for your own home.
• Neither of you are doing a favor. You both are equals, you both are partners. A man can make a list of the things he does for you too but I am sure that would be soon rubbished as a joke or a duty. If he is not making a fuss about being a man, stop making a fuss about being a woman.