My Musings ~ 8 

It all starts with a dream. A tiny hope, a small window of possibility. Its like the seed that our soul needs to grow, to blossom. 

Laying down, with eyes closed, when the dream hits the eyes of the mind, when we smile, when we think a “maybe” , its time like these that are the threshold of deciding whether the dream would remain a dream or if it would convert into reality. 
Way back when I was in school, our Hindi teacher also took our moral education class (though how moral education can be seen as a class and not an integrated part of the curriculum is something that needs another blog 😉 ). So, she told us that the names that we have, tell the story of the dreams our parents had for us when we were born. 
Somehow, like a few things in life that I have never forgotten, this was one of them. It felt fascinating to me to imagine that i was a part of my parent’s dream. That my existence meant so much to them. 
Dreams give reality a beautiful canvass of hope, the one that can be painted, the one that can be filled as we want them to be. 
To make life worth living, to walk ahead with a smile and to be able to make reality a better place than imagination, it’s important to dream a dream. 
You never know when in a dream you sense the possibility of reality and are able to clutch it, making living in a dream a possibility.

The girl in blue denims

Just another girl 
In a pair of denims

And a comfy tee

With Shoes fit for running 

And hair pulled back 
Sailing through life 

Drifting through places 

Seeing new things

Soaking in all life’s traces 
With a smile on the face 

And arms wide open

curious eyes 

And heart up her sleeves
Just being herself 

Just travelling through life 

Just making sense of it all

Just trying to live 
Cant be stopped 

Cant be tamed 

Cant be told 

Cant be shamed
Gentle rain if loved 

Hurricane if stopped 

Storm if challenged 

And breeze if befriended 
Greeting life as it comes

Joyous as it unravels

Surprised as it turns out

And humorous to brush it off
Just another girl

In a pair of denims

Understanding life 

Trying to make sense of it all

The matter of sexes

Sit with your legs crossed,

They said 

You are a girl,

You need to behave, they said.

Laugh with your hands placed on your mouth,

They said 

You are a girl,

You need to be mellow, they said.

Dont wear short clothes,

They said 

You are a girl,

You need to be safe, they said.

Dont touch another man,

They said 

You are a girl

You’ll loose it, they said.

Do as your father tells you,

They said 

You are a girl

You need to obey, they said.

Do as your husband tells you,

They said 

You are a girl

You need to obey, they said. 

Take permission for your job,

They said 

You are a girl

Wife sacrifices, they said.

One day, she was done

With spread legs and short clothes,

Exploring sexuality, obeying herself

She walked her own path.

She did what she was meant to do,

She said 

I am a girl

Not society’s property, she said.

Plot no. 583, Ayodhya

A brief timeline (as per my understanding) 
1528: Babri Masjid was built under the rule of Babur by Mir Baqi. The masjid was constructed on top of a small hill, Ramkot. Till about 1940s, the masjid was also known as Masjid-i-janmsthan. 

1853: first riot to have occurred between Hindus and Muslims on Babri Masjid and lord Ram’s birth place. 
1885: the case was taken to Faizabad court that gave the verdict since the mosque has been built and is present for more than 356 years already, it would not be appropriate to question the existence of the present structure. 
1949: between the nights of Dec 21-22, an idol of lord Ram appeared inside the structure (which was closed and no namaz used to be there at that time)  
1986: after the Shahbano case and the miserable buckling act of the Congress for the muslim clerics, the then PM Rajiv Gandhi sought this issue as a come back in the minds and hearts of the Hindus. The Faizabad judge gave orders to open the locks of the structure, within 2 hours the government agreed and the entire incident was telecasted by Doordarshan. 
1989: VHP announced that after 9 months, the work on the construction of Ram mandir would start. 
October 1989: Already 706 riots had taken place in the span of little over a year and more than 1000 had died. 
3rd November 1989: Rajiv Gandhi gave a speech in Faizabad. The important part being, both the matter of the speech and the location of the speech to be delivered were changed at the last moment. The speech talks about Rajiv Gandhi himself bringing back ramrajya and being a proud Hindu. Both the aspects were not present in the original speech as per Manishankar Iyer. 
30th October 1990: it was announced that Ram mandir would be constructed. 
25th Dec 1990: the 10,000km rath yatra of kar sevaks started from Somnath. The destination was Ayodhya. 
1991: elections took place, Rajiv Gandhi was assassinated and congress came into power. Narsimha Rao was the PM
June 1991: Kalyan Singh became the CM of UP. In the next 4 weeks of becoming the CM, he visited Ayodhya and declared that the mandir would be constructed there itself. 

After 15 days, he gave 2.77 acres of adjacent land to a trust made for the construction of the mandir for INR 1. 
31st October 1991: some kar sevaks climbed the dome and waved saffron flag. Kalyan Singh promised that he would take care of the security of the structure. 
1992: talks started between VHP leaders and Babri Masjid Action Committee to resolve the issue outside the court. It seemed that maybe some peaceful solution is a possibility. 
30th October 1992: VHP dismissed the talks, announced that the attempt failed and gave the date of 6th Dec 1992 for restarting the kar seva. 
8th November 1992: again a meeting was held between the action committee and VHP members. The head of the sunni Waqf Board opposed the VHP announcement. The talks had officially failed. 
Sensing the rising communal tensions, the then Home Secretary , Godbole, suggested to the PM that in situations like this, the center can intervene by sending security forces by land, air and rails to Ayodhya and make sure that peace is not disturbed. PM was informed that all arrangements can be made by 23rd Nov and he can make the announcement of president’s rule on 24th November 1992. 
23rd November 1992: the then PM still wanted to resolve the issue with talks and was not keen on taking a major step. A meeting with the BJP leaders was announced which was in turn boycotted by the BJP leaders themselves. 
Neither the state not the central government urged the Allahbad high court to speed the process and give the verdict soon keeping in mind the rising tensions. 
5th Dec 1992: AB Vajpayee and Advani gave speeches in Lucknow. The infamous speech of Vajpayee stating “zameen ko samtal karna padega” was made here. 
6th Dec 1992: 2 lac karsevaks gathered around the structure. At about 12 o clock, one of them started climbing one of the domes. The rest followed. One by one, all three domes were destroyed. People were celebrating, sweets distributed and gulaal used to show the happiness. Uma Bharti in her ecstasy climbed Murli Manohar Joshi’s back. 

After the incident, to avoid any blame, the then PM gave the matters to be investigated to a one man commission called the Liberhan commission and asked him to give the report in 3 months. 

The report was given after 17 years and INR80 million later. 
2009: the report of the Liberhan Commission was leaked to the media before it could be read in the House of Parliament. Caused havoc in parliament. The report accused Vajpayee and Advani as being the ideological architects of the incident with RSS being the main culprit. The report also talks about the then CM Kalyan Singh’s government posting out the bureaucrats who could in any way hinder the plans for 6th Dec 1992. 
2017: the Supreme Court restores the criminal case against senior BJP leaders. Directs to give a ruling in 2 year’s time. 

The inability of the center to intervene , the silence of the Congress for their political gains, the inability of the whole system lead to what happened on 6th Dec 1992. 
People failed as humans, politicians failed as leaders and the country failed as a system. 
The speeches of Kalyan Singh, Advani, Vajpayee are so communal and so instigating that imagining their effect on people is reason enough to give one goosebumps. 
To understand why on every 6th December people shout on television channels and why so many of them are angry, it’s important to understand the significance of December 6th, 1992. 

Baring my soul – bit by bit

Someone asked me a few days back, why do you write so much? What you get out of it? 
I couldn’t reply at that moment and brushed aside the question with a smile. Maybe because the things, people closest to you are the most difficult to describe to others. 
Still, i’ll try. 
I am an atheist. What i have heard from people about how they pray and why they pray and what they feel after it kind of echoes as something that i feel after i write. 
Writing to me is what praying/religion/god is to people. I am most honest in life while i write and sometimes feel the need to stop lest i would spill the beans of my soul too much. The words that i pen, the feelings that i share are my reality, my truth. 
I feel, in each and every piece that a writer pens down, a part of her soul is reflected. 
Writing gives me happiness, gives me strength, gives me confidence and gives me courage to walk the path of life. 
The sentences that i create, the words that i select, the feelings that i describe are my creations and after finishing each piece, it becomes a part of my existence, a part of my soul that i chose to bare to the world. 
So, this blog is in answer to my friend’s question. But, like every other piece, its also a part of me. 

RIP Logic!

Sonu Nigam is in the limelight lately. Looks like its a bad time for anyone to think or breathe. Or live, if you may say so. 
What I don’t understand is, whats all this hoo-ha about? As far as I know, religion is a thing that should be kept at a personal level and shouldn’t interfere with another person’s life. 
Be it the morning azaan or the bhajans or religious processions. 
To some, it maybe bhakti, for others it may just be some unwanted noise! Why force people to listen to something? To each to its own! 
Painting any statement communal is what we Indians do best these days. When the media splashed his tweets all over, why didnt they also splash the part where he talks about temples and gurudwaras? He tweeted four tweets. Like one, two, three and four. Total four tweets. Whats the point of highlighting ONLY one? 
For all those believing in god and fighting in His name with logic this bad and biases so high, all I can say is, God bless you. 
For the rest, start by being a human first and then a hindu or a muslim or a sikh.
Think! Think people, think! Your god didnt give you a mouth to shit and an a-hole to emit wisdom. Dont confuse the two holes! And for the sake of the lord, learn to read and dont get confused between Sonu Nigam and Sonu Sood! 
Live and let live. 
Cheers! 

Begum Jaan

India Pakistan partition is one of the most painful lines drawn in the history of the world. The migration that took place is the largest migration to have ever taken place. Why? For what? For the miscalculations of a few people, for the ego of a few men and religion, acting as a weapon. 
I personally believe that partition and the time pre and post that bloody August, should be told more to the youth. There is so much to understand, to know and to soak in. Like MJ Akbar famously said, “to understand our present, we need to understand our past”. 
That being said, the movie had me bowled over in the first 5 minutes of its beginning. To come up with a vision to start a movie with that scene, one needs more than imagination, guts and conviction. For most, it would be too bold to handle. 
With a cast that needs no introduction, the movie was packed with some power packed performances and some earth shatteringly honest, raw and hair raising dialogues. 
What came as a surprise was, the magnificent performance by Chunky Pandey. He reminded me of Nana Patekar in Shakti and i have now some new found respect for the man. Finally after doing an unimaginable number of forgettable flicks, he has learnt the craft and am looking forward to see more of him. Or more of the new-him. 
Vidya Balan is so powerful that she can make anyone shit in their pants just by giving THAT look. She is that good. 

Naseeruddin Shah though didnt have much screen presence, did more than justice to the sleazy lowlife that he portrayed. Hats off to him. 
The ending though, could have been more detailed and impactful. The emotions were raw and straight hitting. 
In some places, the plot could have been given more weightage as compared to maintaining the rawness of the movie. At some places, that balance is lost.  
Also, the epicentre of the movie seemed a little uncooked. Could have been baked a bit more. 
All said and done, we did need a dose of some raw cinema. the movie was gripping, raw and struck a few chords. 
Not for the faint hearted and definitely not a movie to take your date on. DONT commit that mistake. Its heavy and would kind of stay with you for a while.

Snap-ing at nothing!

So, the Snapchat CEO allegedly called India a poor country. 

What??!  How?? India and poor??!!!! We need revenge! 

The moment the news hit the headlines, all hell broke loose on the poor guy (who also happens to be a good looking man, hence, some soft corner for him) and the key board warriors waged a war against this grave insult. 
It doesn’t stop here. His fiancée, the famous model Miranda Kerr was also trolled mercilessly by Indians and also abused for well, being his fiancée (thats Indian logic, i guess) 
Now, now. We Indians need to calm our titties. For two things. One, for not accepting the facts and two, for being the biased misogynistic arrogant cave-men mentality that we possess. 
The trolls insulting Ms Kerr almost reinstated that India is indeed, a butt-poor country as far as common sense goes. The “intelligence” of the trolls can be accessed by the fact that they dont know the difference between “husband” and “fiancé ” ( but I am sure bharatiya sabhyata is responsible for that fu), some trolls also asked her to “suck my dick” (mind you, these are not insults, these are the sentiments of the citizens of a “rich” country) and also threatened her with rape while some asked her to educate her fiancé. And oh, wait. The best part. Some people in their bid to show their love for the country, confused Snapchat with Snapdeal and trolled the wrong page! Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is how the citizens of a not-poor country react. Please take note. 
Bravo! 
A small glitch here. The snapchat CEO”allegedly ” said those things. The news made headlines because one of its employees stated that Spielgel said those things in a lawsuit he filed. 

Reason enough to abuse a man and his fiancée? Reason enough to threaten the fiancée with rape? Or reason enough to be ashamed of such conduct?
Poor or not, we sure as hell are a bunch of uncultured and uncouth people. 
Meanwhile, a short reminder to the keyboard warriors : India continues to be unsafe for women, gau rakshaks are continuing murdering innocents, poverty is hitting the roof. Wan to help? Try uninstalling these from the society. Cant? Well, then try uninstalling the crap that lies in your heads! 

Life, Digantar and Dreams

 Teaching in Digantar has always been a pleasure and a learning experience in itself. While working with the secondary and senior secondary girls, one thing that I often feel is, these children, especially in this age and this environment, are so receptive, so curious, bursting to form an opinion, aching to know more and most importantly, wanting to explore the world.
When we talk about the world, here the first hint of differentiation takes place. Being in the sub urban area, the girls here often see a conflicting image on the world that is around them, shown in the TV and viewed in movies and world that they are in.
Often after the classes or after finishing a particular chunk in the class and before starting a new chapter, we take a break and simply talk about various things.
Working with them closely, each day for four months has given me so much to think about, so much to learn and so much to understand.
Few instances that have left a mark on my memory are also the instances that have forced me to rethink about my idea regarding these girl’s understanding and maturity.
I have often noticed that if there is a question that needs to be contemplated and discussed and is asked to me, the answer comes from these girls and not from me. I see a very interesting phenomenon where the girls present different opinions, trying to rationalize things and then coming up with a logically sound argument/statement or stand.
One of the main things that run in the minds of these girls is, their life post marriage. They often talk to me during lunch breaks or during classes regarding how in spite of being married I don’t wear bangles or sindoor or other signs of being a married female, how I am “allowed” to wear western clothes even with my in laws and how no one stops or questions my decisions.
Kherunisha is one of the first girls to open up to me and talk to me about why I don’t wear the symbols associated with being married. She then told me with confidence that she intends to wear nothing that indicates she is a married girl once she goes to live with her husband’s family. She said these things in a very bold manner and with confidence and a hint of mischief added to it. But, almost the instance she uttered her mother in law is not very adjusting and not so liberal, the resolve didn’t sound that strong.
Over a period of time, she kept talking to me regarding how she wishes to be a dancer some day and how when she told her wish to her husband, who in return asked her to continue her dance only in front of him and not others. This realization that their dreams might never get fulfilled is a very rude reminder to these girls that life for them would not be as they plan in to be but, would be as others want it to be.
When such conversations and take place, I often try and tell them that the independence to make decisions, to take a stand can come only when one stands on his/her own feet and that would come only with education. They agree with me here and often say that no matter what, they would try to complete their education so that someday, they too can stand on their own feet.
Once during the festive season of Ramadan, in the middle of a chapter one of the girls asked me if I ate meat. When I said yes and tried to continue with the chapter, pop came another question: what all meats I consume. Being aware of the fact that the majority of the population here is muslim, I replied in a vague manner and said almost everything. By this time, knowing the temperament and the curiosity levels of the girls, I was sure this topic is not yet over and I received another direct question: do you eat pork? I replied in affirmative and then waited for the reactions. Here, to my surprise, the moment a few girls expressed their disgust, one of the girls strongly argued stating she has read that pork that is consumed comes from dairy bred cattle and is just like the meat that they themselves consume in terms of care and cleanliness. The other girls slowly thought about it and the agreed and even said the world is a huge place and everyone is not the same and all staple foods or food in general are not the same.
This incident showed me that the girls here are much more mature and much more aware and much more tolerant that the world around us. They had the maturity to contemplate, think, reason and reach a conclusion. This is something that even the adults tend to lack and something that only comes as a result of a sound and open mind.
There are a number of instances when they joked with me, asked about my life, about my married life, voiced their disapproval of a number of things that are present in the world and discussed their homes, their parents, their dreams with me.
I see a spark in most of the girls here. The spark is often accompanied by anger. Anger at the possibilities and problems that might arise in their path. But, I believe as long as that spark is present, the girls can do wonders. They know what is right and what is wrong, they are willing to understand what they do not know and change if they feel something they believe in is not right. I, as a person, constantly make sure that we have dialogues, discussions on various things and issues and try and introduce them to new possibilities or ideas as often as I can. 
It’s important to have a dream. It’s important to be able to dream. And i take it upon me to make them believe that nothing is impossible. 
Cheers! 

My Musings ~ 7

Discovering self 
One of the most beautiful and magnificent things in life is to fully understand, accept and befriend one’s own self. 
The friendship that one has with the self comes from a long struggle and a tug of war between what we want to be and what we actually are. 
Harmony of the mind and soul lies in realising somewhere in life that probably what we wanted to be, we finally are . Or what we are, is the truth that we need to accept. As a person, as a human. 
The glory of human nature lies in the faults, the short comings, the weaknesses. Once they are embraced, its like falling in love all over again, strengthening the bond between what we are and what we sought out. 
We meet the real us in times of love, anger, hurt or crisis. The depth and the strengths of a human mind is i think, the most underrated mystery in this world. 
Its all actually, in the mind.