Modern Family, you would be missed 💔

Today, I saw the last episode of Modern Family.

The episode aired 2 days ago ( i think ) but something kept me from watching it. Watching this episode would mean there would be no other episodes to watch of this incredible series. There would be no rolling of the eyes by Alex, no dumb acts by Luke, no sassy moments involving Gloria, no blissful ignorance of Haley, no over dramatic moments from Mitch and Cam’s life, no goof ups from Phil, no hyperactivity from Clair, no cute layered emotions coming from Jay, no man-like moments from Manny’s life and no witty one-liners by Lily.

I stumbled upon Modern Family when it was on it’s second season. Since the first day, first episode that I watched of this series, it has done nothing but made me laugh, cry and “see” things their way.

The last episode (season 11, episode 18) was simply titled “Finale” and there were more than 3 occasions where I teared up and just wanted to give everyone a BIG hug.

When you watch a series like Modern Family, before you realise it, you become a part of an incredible family and just kind of get to know the members like you’d know in your own family.

This series has done a great job bringing laughter to our homes, making us sensitive towards diversity, helping us embrace the different forms and genres of love and affection and setting an example of what being a family member actually means.

I won’t be giving any spoilers here. All I would say is, whenever you watch the episode, keep a couple of tissues handy and be prepared to say one of the hardest goodbyes of your life.

Lockdown Day – 13 My must watch series list

1. The Keepers

This is a series based on real life events. It would send chills down your spine and you would feel absolutely appalled by the hand in glove friendship that is shown in this docu series between the Church and the State.

How men in influential positions in the Church get away with sexually assaulting more than 100 girls (who complained as women) would leave you perplexed and angry.

2. Unbelievable

Unbelievable is a limited series based on real life events. How it sensitively shows the incapability of the system to be sensitive towards rape victims is devastating, to say the least. How people in powerful and in positions of authority can misuse their power based on their own biases, is depicted in a very crisp manner.

3. Narcos

I don’t think i need to give any introduction to this series. All i can say is, the latest season ( Narcos: Mexico) is as good as the first season. Based on true events, it would pop your eyes wide open when you “see” the amount of dirty money these drug cartels floated in. So, go cabaron! Go and watch it!

4. Dirty John

Dirty John is again, based on true events. Starring Eric Bana in the sleazy role of a con man conning a rich woman is quite a shift from his good-man image that I had in my mind. The series is engaging, not too dark, the story line gripping and is not at all gloomy.

5. The Blacklist

Now now now. I might be biased but, I am completely blown away by the character Raymond Reddington played by James Spader. What a performance, what a carefully carved character, what amazing subtle humour. I love the series and have been an ardent fan as well as follower of this series since the past 6 years. In short, it has an interesting storyline woven around FBI, a blacklist of criminals and an international fugitive.

6. Queen of the South

I am not at all ashamed to admit I have a girl crush on the lead, Alice Braga. Anyhow, Queen of the South revolves around the world of drug cartels and how a woman who had no plans to enter the world of cocaine finds herself fighting for survival and in the process becomes a feared drug lord herself. Its a good catchy upbeat series. The perfect combination of crime and a good storyline.

7. House

Those of you who like subtle dark intelligent ruthless humour, would love the series. House is not just a series. This series would grow onto you and you would love every bit of the guy that House is. You would also hate him but you’d hate him to the extent of falling in love with him. The series revolves around the life of a brilliant doctor, House. There is an element of crime, detective activities and superb sarcastic humour.

8. Absentia

Absentia is a series focussing on an FBI agent who suddenly reappears 6 years after having disappeared while hunting a serial killer. She has no memory, no idea of where she has been, what she had been upto and to add to the misery, finds her world completely changed. Its her story, her fight to get to the truth, no matter how hard and bitter that might be.

9. McMafia

McMafia is an American crime thriller involving a Russian family with a very colourful past. How a young man, who has considered himself a good American all his life finds himself fighting for his life in Moscow, is a story you have got to watch. The metamorphosis of the young man into a cool headed criminal mastermind is somewhat similar to The Godfather’s Michael. Good strong storyline and nail biting moments make this series a must watch.

10. Grey’s Anatomy

Now, this is one series that I hope would never end. Every episode is unique and so humane. I love the series for it’s inclusivity, its sensitivity and humane treatment of all the aspects of life. Be it love, passion, career, LGBTQ rights, rape, equality, marriage, relationships, friendship, it has got it all covered. If you are feeling low and desperate in these lockdown times, watch ANY episode of Grey’s and you would feel much much better. Trust me on this one.

Little karma following me

Motherhood sweeps you off your feet. Its that tingly feeling you get in your heart when you feel your love pouring out of you. When you hold your child for the first time, its magical and you suddenly leave behind your old temper and self and step into a world of infinite love and affection.

True? Naah. At least not in my case!

Motherhood didn’t hit me at any particular moment. The love for my child didn’t erupt at any particular moment. My heart did melt but not at any particular moment. I became a mother. And that had nothing to do with crossing a threshold.

To be honest, it was a process. A process that started with wanting to be a mother, being nervous, uncertain, a little excited and slowly finding my footing in this new world.

There are too many opinions floating around these days about how ideally a mother should be like, what is an ideal “mother-behaviour “ (as if its a thing) , how a mother should react and absurdly enough, how a mother should feel.

So when a mother doesn’t “feel” as per the given standards of feelings, there’s a society imposed guilt trip that follows.

What people forget is, mothers are individuals too. While everyone talks about how mothers should sacrifice, adjust, give up on a lot of things in life, what they miss is, its all a choice and not a guide book by which every mother can be judged.

So here are some of the things, that happened in my life which didn’t go quite as per the uptight standards of acceptable “motherhood”.

1. That pregnancy glow.

A lot of women glow during their pregnancy. Pregnancy brings about a dewy glow to the skin. That’s what I had heard. Only, the glow that I had on my face was of light bulb sized pimples and good lord, they did glow!

2. The urge to eat pickles.

We have grown up on Bollywood movies where once the woman has an aachar in hand, its a sure shot sign that she is expecting. It might be true for a lot of women out there but, I had two cravings. Just two. Dark hazelnut chocolates and red meat.

3. The scene in the OT

I had a c section. I feel blessed that I had it. My baby was a breech. I didn’t go into labour. I didnt dilate. So when my kid finally popped out of me, after hearing her cry and knowing the gender, I slept. Not because I was tired from the labour but because I hadn’t slept comfortably since the past 2 months. So, I slept in the OT. While they were stitching me up. And i snored. An intern of my OB Gyn nudged me giggling and asked, “did you just doze off?” And I replied “Yep!” And promptly slept again.

4. Breastfeeding

No documentary, no prep talk, no counselling does justice to the absolute confusion that occurs right after the delivery. I kept saying the lactation has not started, the nurses kept coming in and pressing the breasts to check, the shame and the shyness associated with the bosom left my life at that point.

5. Post Hospital saga

For 2- 2.5 months I was a sleep deprived zombie. I was so desperate to do anything besides breastfeeding and sitting on the bed that I offered my mother to chuck the maid out, keep me to do her household chores. She refused, of course. But, I was that desperate.

6. The unnecessary inflow of gyaan

There would be people giving unnecessary advices is what i had anticipated. But, the influx would be of such a magnitude, I had never ever imagined. From how to breastfeed, to unsolicited advice about what position to feed in, to sleep when the baby sleeps (not practical at least in my case), to using which oil for massage to what an absolute sin it is to give top feed to the baby to everything.

7. Post settling in

After settling in, I joined back my work in 6 months and because of the way my genetics are and the lifestyle I had always followed, I shed my pregnancy weight within 2-3 months. I had no idea how both these things are such a looked-down upon aspects of being a mother. Working moms seem to be the synonym for not being a good mom and shedding the weight simply means a female is too figure conscious and basically, doesn’t eat well. In other words, she diets. Haaaw!

8. The meme worthy life

Once i settled into the grid of being a mother, a working mother, an independent female that i always was, just when I thought I have managed things well, boom! The baby starts walking ! With that, the baby starts imitating. No one tells you that having a kid is like having your karma constantly following you. Dropped a grape and ate it anyway? Look behind! The kid would be doing the same to her food now. Came from the office and tossed the shoes beneath the sofa? Ha! Lookie look! The kiddie footwear is beneath the beds and sofa now! Like taking selfies? The kid would be posing with a TV remote now thinking it would too click pictures. Like watching Netflix before dozing off? Well, the kid knows. Just knows there’s Baby Shark Do Do Do Do Do Do song on YouTube. Just like baby turtles know where the sea is, the kids know their rights. And your wrongs. Hence, thats Karna wrapped in your own DNA!

9. And she spoke!

My daughter started blabbering, then calling me mummy then went on to say papa, then said .. well.. Joota ( she loves her shoes as much as she loves mummy and daddy), she also says a lot of things now that she randomly hears. So now we communicate in spellings. I wish I could participate in the spelling bee now. Anyhow.

10. Taking a dump alone is a luxury

Besides all this, no one tells you how sometimes you are going to simply need some time to just stare at a wall and be. How shitting alone is a luxury because now the spy is constantly on a lookout for all your activities and closing the door while the kid is outside is an impossibility. I have taken a dump while my daughter is sitting on my lap a dozen times.

All this happens, a lot more would happen. I know what hitting the teenage feels like. I remember what a storm I was during that phase. I know the havoc i created in my parent’s lives. And i know that time too would come. But,as it is said, change is the only constant in life. The other day while I was complaining and telling my mother how I don’t get any me-time, she smiled and replied : kids grow up. Before you know, she wont be needing you so much and then you are going to miss this time.

The way she said it, it was a little wistful. Made me think. from constantly wanting to be physically around the mother to being a grown up making own decisions and leading own life, does the transformation hurt? How does the mothers cope up? Empty nest syndrome, isn’t it?

Nothing gives me more joy than being around my child. Nothing tires and drains me out more than being around my child. Both the things are true to the core.

When someone asked me a few days ago how has motherhood been treating me, I couldn’t give a one line answer. I just smiled. Motherhood isn’t a single feeling. Its a mixture of millions of feelings and thoughts.

When I speak with friends who aren’t parents yet and they seek answer to when is the right time to have kids, I just say one thing. Have a kid when you feel is the right time. Not when your parents want, not when your careers are at a particular stage, not when only one partner wants it, don’t listen to the infamous lines : just have a kid and we will look after it. Because, no one can feed,smile, live and breathe for your child. Have a kid when you are ready so that when the above 10 point check list happens in your life, you know it was your own decision and can find humour in the situation, identity the infinite love you are capable of feeling and laugh the blues away.

Not your regular fairy tale!

I was recently speaking with a friend of mine when a song was mentioned. Since I said I had never heard it before, I was told the lyrics. And when I heard the lyrics, i realised how our society is so terribly lopsided in terms of independence and its idea in context to women.

living a life engulfed in technology, we might think all this is a thing of the past. But, is it?

How many songs we come across urging the guy to get a gift desired by a girl? How many fairy tales have we heard leaving behind an impression that all little girls ever need of dreaming is about their “knight in shining armour”? How many poems and stories are based on how a gallant man rescues a girl and “gives” her the life of her dreams?

I think, these kinds of fairy tales, songs, poems, stories do more harm than good. To both the genders.

It puts the unnecessary burden of fulfilling the desire of another capable and able human being on the shoulders of a man and it makes girls under confident and coaxes them into believing they would be “complete” only when a man would be able to provide for their every single need.

Its time to change the fairly tales, its time to change the endings of most of the bed time stories we have heard, its time to be empowered and empower other fellow humans, be it a man or a woman. And its time to not conform to the notions of a “good” woman or a “good” man that the society gives us.

Life is not always easy. Situations are not always on the preferred sides. Its okay to expect in a relationship, its okay to give in a relationship but is it okay to feel entitled in a relationship and is it okay to feel dependent in a relationship because the society has tried to teach us that? I dont think so.

Remember The Sleeping Beauty? Goldilocks ? Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? The tale where a princess kisses a frog and turns it into a charming Prince? What if we change their endings? What if it was the Sleeping Prince? What if it was a knight imprisoned in a tower? What if it were 7 sisters and a prince in trouble running away from his evil step mom?

Children need to be told stories. Children need to be told a variety of stories. Young minds are the easiest to influence. Why not influence them with notions of equality, empowerment, empathy, joy, sensitivity and objectivity rather than helping the age old stereotypes of a girl waiting for her prince charming taking shape at a conceptual level in their minds? Why not let the little girls believe that the figure on a galloping horse is not a prince. It’s them, when they grow up and become independent enough to fulfill their own damn dreams?

The aim of raising little girls is not to mass produce cuteness or feminity or beauty or making “good wives”. The aim of raising any child, be it a boy or girl should be to make them independent and rational and good humans. For girls, even more attention needs to be paid on these so that they have the strength to turn the tide and remember the story enough to believe that its them who came sitting on a galloping horse and made all their dreams true.

The Nun

The Nun

Not scary. NUNtheless , a good storyline with NUN of the shitting-in-the-pants-scares that made the rest of the movies of the series so damn good.

One time watch for the sake of closure. Though the horror wasn’t great, the humour was subtle and well, humorous.

Looks like the movie makers had pressure to match their predecessors and were rather iNUNdated with trying to prove themselves. A rather NUNdescript and NUNentity in an otherwise entertaining series in the rare genre of good horror movies.

PS: my shortest movie review ever

Stree

I have a few friends in life who do exactly the opposite of what I tell them to do.

Like, I say “leave me alone” and they’ll be like “oh yeah lets go party” or, I tell them “not possible ya” and they’ll send a whatsapp saying “tickets booked”.

Such people are needed in life. To live , to laugh and to let the hair down and just enjoy.

Today, was one of such days when I watched the movie Stree.

The movie is hilarious. If there is anything called excessive laughter syndrome, this movie gives you one. It is also a unique combination of horror with crisp one liners, goosebumps and a set of useless yet loveable friends.

The friends aspect is the one I personally enjoyed the most and while watching the movie with my mad & crazy friend, could easily relate to a lot of dialogues and instances.

Rajkumar Rao needs no introduction as an actor and his character of a love struck dope smile guy who looses all his intelligence where his love interest is concerned is adorable and funny. His friends, played by Aparshakti Khurana and Abhishek Banerjee are hilarious and an absolute delight. So much so, you wait for their screen time and when they do come, rest assured, they aren’t a disappointment. Pankaj Tripathi is a seasoned actor and does justice to his part of the owner of a book store who is also fond of a few pegs.

My only disappointment was, watching Vijay Raaz for such a short while. Really wanted to watch him for a longer period because , well, he is THE man, with his excellent comic timing and as an exceptional actor.

Shraddha Kapoor is tolerable in the movie because the movie doesn’t depend on her and the entertainment quotient of the movie is bigger than her acting prowess.

This movie is damn funny, has an excellent set of characters and a storyline that is strong. What it also does is, it addresses a few social evils giving out a loud and clear message that if we don’t respect women, the injustices done towards them would come to haunt the mankind. That, apart from the laughs, is also a take away. The movie has highlighted issues like looking at a woman for the person she is and not just limiting her identity to her body, understanding and respecting her life choices and rights which are missing from our society and most importantly from people’s mentality. Also, people’s unnecessary interference in a woman’s life is subtly but surely addressed and condemned. Loved a particular scene where Pankaj Tripathi gently tells a character in the movie : like some people’s mothers are teachers , tailors etc, its okay to have a mother who was a prostitute.

All said and done, Stree is the perfect short funny happy distraction that you need from your life. It tickles you and just makes you happy. A perfect weekend watch with a strong message without an ounce of preaching.

Its the treatment of the subject that matters. Its the intention that matters and this movie just won my happy heart.

A little spark would go a long way

An all round education can never be in a setup that is completely formal. For a set up of complete formal nature would probably teach a child how to sit in rows, how to keep quiet, how to behave in an orderly fashion but it would also strip a child of questions, of the ability to raise her voice, to express , to explore her interests and the strength to break the norms.

Every human being is born with a spark. It is our responsibility to see that the spark is kept alive and nurtured with care and not put out with the burden of rules and norms and systems.

So many children are taught and shown a path that adults are comfortable in. Paths of customs, traditions and should bes and should-nots. This is not helping a child in any way to become a responsible, rational being. If questions are suppressed, if systems are not challenged, if dialogues are not encouraged,a child would forever be depended on what has been handed down to her on a platter as the gospel truth and fail completely to tap her own potential.

By guiding and nudging children in the direction of the much taken, beaten down path, I think us adults showcase two things. One, our own limitations and lack of confidence and two, our fear of knowing the unknown which again might be because most of us are products of the system that is rigid and closed.

I remember an incident from my childhood. I had studied in a non formal alternative school before joining the main stream. My adjustment with the switch was okayish mainly because of the excellent class teacher I had at the time who understood me and also because I was from an alternative background, I had the confidence and an attitude that I knew would make me feel okay eventually. Before the year ended, I had adjusted, made friends and started showing my interests in things i liked.

One day, there was a construction work going on in the school and one of the kids of the labourers’ entered our class corridor. I was in grade 5 at the time. I bent down, touched his cheeks and walked away. A friend of mine looked horrified and came rushing to me and asked me to wash my hands because the kid was “not one of our own”. Of course, I was too young at that time to figure out what exactly was wrong with this statement but I knew deep within that something was wrong with the statement and more so, something was wrong with the sentiment behind the statement.

How many of children who believe in “us” and “they” have since grown up and are adults and believe in this divide? So, should we blame people or the system? And that again is a complex issue since systems are made by people and hence to some extent are people’s reflection.

Another aspect that every adult and child should have is, to have opinions. The world right now is either luxurious for some or a challenge for some. Things are either easily available or not available at all. For those who have got access to resources, it becomes a responsibility to utilise the resources to gain knowledge. Not in the click bait manner which a lot of us are getting used to. But, an in-depth one.

Being aware is the least we can do to show our respect to the life we have got and the senses that we have as gifts. We need to honour them.

I have the opportunity to interact with a range of kids of different ages and it is a delight to take one period each week in every class on different issues. The questions like what is below in the ground? How are volcanos made? What is pangae land? What is the meaning of the term Hindustan? Was it coined after a religion or does this signify something else? What are stars? What are planets and galaxies? Who works more mom or dad? Are men and women equal? etc are discussed and thought about. Also, I get so much stereotypical texts in the course books that I need to every now and then close the books and remind the children to learn to differentiate between the views of the writer of a chapter and their own. Because, that is important. To realise that views can be formed and they might differ from the popular ones.

We need to do this regularly with kids. We need to do this with our kids or kids that we interact with. We need to nurture the unbiased and loving nature that children have and need to work hard to stop it from being poisoned by us adults.

Kids see, they understand, learn and enact what they see. The way i hold my pen and my handwriting is the carbon copy of how at least 3 members of my family write. Because subconsciously i picked up the style. This is just an example and I am sure each one of us has at least a few traits that are a ditto of someone that we have been closely associated with.

Those who can, must work to change the world. One positively effected life would go a long long way. We need rational beings and not fanatics and bigots. The world we are leaving behind for our children is not ideal and is probably worse than the world that was handed to us by our parents. A small effort or a big effort is not a parameter when we speak about touching lives. Each one of us needs to do whatever we can. And that doesn’t mean we impose ideas and principles because freedom and rational thinking can never be imposed. All we need to do is, consistently remind the kids to be informed and rational. That is, if we truly love and respect them. Otherwise, its easy to slap them while they are young and tell them asking questions is bad and traditions and norms are the gospel truths from the “god’s own mouth”. So that the child can question neither the traditions nor the norms or God or the gospel.

We all have wings. Its time we learned how to fly and soar high with our thoughts.

Its time we made a choice.

Plain and simple!

So, I got a forward today that spoke about how a woman realised the hard way that her mother in law was not her mother and it was just a figure of speech when the mother-in-law said that her daughter-in-law is like her own daughter.

I seriously wonder how such huge misconceptions are accepted by our minds. Giving this whole thing a serious thought, i realised if I speak about my own life, my mother is someone who cleaned my poop, hugged me to sleep, kissed me on my cheeks, pacified me during board exams, listened to my stories that gushed out of me of the crushes i had and of a particular guy “looking my way” , went with me to all the stupid movies, listened to me when i fell in love, helped the nurse put a catheter in me before my delivery, changed my clothes post delivery and what not. Can i, as a woman love anyone else like i love my own mother? No. I can respect, love the person that my mother in law is, be protective of her, be with her, share secrets with her but, there would always be a difference between my mother and my mother in law.

Similarly, would i love anyone more than my own child? When my kid gets married, would i treat the spouse as my own child? Ofcourse not! I can call a spade a spade, speak in an unbiased fashion if the need be, i can correct my child and even take sides with my kid’s spouse if i find my offspring is wrong but, i would always be my kid’s mother. And the spouse would always be my child’s life partner and would never be my child.

In India, a lot is lost in translation due to the rampant use of figure of speech. Like, “Apna hi ghar samjho”. Try and go bag and baggage to a person’s house who says this and the whole “athithi devo bhavah” would fly out of the window. A lot of relatives say, “meri beti jaisi hai”. Try asking them to pay for your college fee and see them turning around and running with the speed of light. So, the bottom line is, relationships are not made overnight when a woman gets married. They take time to grow. Give them that time, dont expect a woman to act like your mother when you have a separate and special place for your mother in your heart. The same goes the other way too. Dont expect a girl to be your daughter when you have a special place in your heart for your own child.

In my opinion, by making the relationship of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law synonymous to a mother-daughter relationship, we strip this special alliance of its uniqueness. We take away the option of cultivating this relationship into something special by burdening it with undue expectations and unrealistic hopes and guidelines.

We can actually build and nurture this relationship in a beautiful manner if we set realistic ideas and approach it with enthusiasm and honesty and give this unique relationship the chance to develop into a unique bond that this association does deserve.

Cheers!

Hey there!

Throw back to May 2017 when this journey started

This journey has been amazing. From staring at the faint pink line sitting on the toilet seat to being breathtakingly happy to reminding myself not to skip the steps, to my office colleagues scolding me for running from one room to the other, to forgetting that i am pregnant and getting stuck in a narrow space, to borrowing my mom’s clothes, to eating like a dinosaur, to the pelvic pain, to craving chocolates so bad that my frn and his wife had to courier some from mumbai , to not being able to tie my shoe laces, to thinking the pain was not because of labor but because i ate too much, its all been fun!

Each pregnancy, each experience, each woman’s reaction to pregnancy is different and unique. What worked for me, how i coped might be something completely opposite to what worked for my friends.

Its okay to have new experiences, to freak out after reading horror stories on google, after not being able to locate ur own child on the sonography screen. Its okay to be temperamental, its okay to be so angry for no reason that you want to plot a murder of a random person, its okay to feel like a whale 🐋 in the heat and its totally okay to not fit in any of your favourite clothes, its okay to increase 1.5 kg per week in the last month, its okay to get almost kicked out of the sonography because of asking the gender of the kid, Its okay to pee every 5 minutes and screaming suddenly when you are in the middle of a conversation with someone when your kid decides to kick you right in your bladder! Trust me.. It is all okay!

For me, what worked was being active, going out, working and as much as possible, leading my life normally and being curiously happy about the whole thing.

Having a good gynaecologist is also very important. One who is patient enough to listen to your stupid questions which she probably hears 100 times a day and still is patient enough to ans your queries. Thankfully, i got a gynae who was a chilled out confident woman. My visits to her helped me a lot. She was very observant, took no risks but was always cool as a cucumber.

Keeping calm, enjoying and being damn positive does wonders. Also, keeping your humour intact makes the journey so much easier and fun! I mean, i even enjoyed the part where i was so off my balance that i was almost walking like a penguin and couldn’t walk on a straight line or the part where i was pooping green because of the iron supplements !🙈

I am a tall, skinny and lean person. Have always been and the idea of getting a bump thrilled me. For the first time in my life i was looking forward to having a big round belly! It came a bit late and good grace when it did come, it grew exponentially! Within no time i had a bump the size of a basketball and i flaunted it at every step. I never wore oversized baggy sad clothes or try to hide my bump with a scarf during my pregnancy and always dressed up smart and well. Being a jeans n t shirt kind of a person, i can literally live in them, which i continued to do even during my pregnancy and it was amazingly refreshing and totally me. It’s equally important not to loose your own identity and self. Because the happiness that comes from being your own self is precious and important.

And finally, it’s necessary to remember there is no such thing as a perfect pregnancy. Its okay if everything goes according to what we have planned and its also okay if they dont. Its okay to plan a normal delivery and end up in a c section as in my case ( my kid took the jaat genes rather seriously and was too adamant to come in the birthing position ).The base line is, everything is okay!

PS: its also okay to not choose this journey altogether. Its okay to not being able to embark on this journey for whatever reasons. Its okay to make a choice to give a home to a child that doesnt have one, its okay to choose your own happiness.

Moments ~ 1

While We often remember the moments that hold some significance in our life, there are moments which did hold a lot of significance but we cant really remember them. It is only later that we realise those moments were the ones when we crossed a threshold and embraced a change without even knowing it.

A few days ago,while thinking about my college days and remembering how we all used to sit under the tree right outside the canteen, I tried hard to remember the last time when our group sat there. Probably the last time we were all together was as usual filled with laughter, mean jokes, tiffins, saras lassi and guy talks until one by one each one of us walked off, not knowing that as we stepped outside the college gates, our lives would change forever and that we would probably never be able to in our lifetime all sit together again.

We don’t remember moments like these precisely but in retrospect, we do know that those moments held a lot of significance and in those moments, change did happen.

Had I known while living those moments that they were the last ones of a kind, i would have probably done things differently. But then, maybe its life’s way of giving us a cushion, of dealing us with a tender hand, of sparing us the agony of knowing and going through those times.

Had I known it was the last time I was seeing Mathur’s bag that contained everything from deo to hair cream to face wash, i would have probably teased her a bit more that day. Had i known it was the last time i had the chance to take Shiva as my pillion rider, i would have taken a few extra rounds of Janta store. Had i known it was the last time Maitri taught us dance moves and got angry when we got distracted, i would have danced some more with hell of lot more distraction.Had I known it was the last day Amreen said she would not bunk her classes and instead ended up sitting in the canteen, i would have made her sit there a bit longer. Had I known it was the last day Sona sat there and told nali not to snoop around in her mobile, we would have looked at it harder and found something more to tease her with later. Had i known it was the last time i saw Mani and thought she was being too serious, I would have poker her a bit and smothered her with a bear hug. Had i known it was the last time I saw Ghodi with her appy fizz, i would have laughed a bit harder when she came to sit with us. Had i known it was the last time Nali brought her tiffin n ate it at 7.30am within 10 minutes of reaching college, i would have tricked her and eaten the whole thing myself. Had I known that day was the last time i saw Sukhi’s rampyari, I would have driven it for a couple of minutes more. Had I known it was the last day i was collecting my chillar and contemplating whether i can afford a chhaach or a lassi, i would have sipped it slowly, enjoying its every drop just a bit more.

But, i didn’t know. Neither did any one of us. Those moments just slipped away. And all we can do is, be thankful that despite being in different walks of life, we are all still in touch and meet every now and then, making more moments, making more memories.

Cheers!